Today I wanted to take a break from talking about autism and writing and instead talk about autism/adhd and music, specifically to learning harmonies. Music has always been a huge part of my life and I’ve always loved to sing along to songs that I love. But I wondered whether fellow autistics or people with ADHD or both have also found this to be a challenge. It was something I couldn’t do for ages and when I was a child I thought I was incapable. Yet I’m quite good at remembering tunes and they sort of stick in after hearing them once or twice.
But I needed to hear individual harmonies separately to begin with. I grew up hearing my family singing harmonies but I didn’t read music so could only learn by ear. Hearing everyone else singing their harmonies sounded lovely but I couldn’t pick out the harmonies when everyone was singing together. This perhaps isn’t so unusual especially when I realise that teaching harmonies takes a lot of time, learning and processing before the song is embedded in memory. It’s something that needs to be repeated over and over and I don't remember being taught this growing up, so it flummoxed me.
It took me years to get the hang of it and I had this negative idea that I just couldn’t do it. I’m now thinking it’s another of those slow processing things or that I just wasn't taught so I just gave up, convinced I couldn’t hold a part. If I was anywhere singing as a group this was probably reinforced further.
I learned much later in life that if I was completely surrounded by others singing the same part I wouldn’t get distracted by the other people singing a different harmony. But it took me ages not to get distracted or drawn in by another part; to be able to filter out the other harmonies.
It wasn’t until I was in my early 40s when I went to a small singing group that it gradually began to click for me. There were only a few of us there and many weren’t very confident either, so I excelled a bit compared to my former self because I went regularly and got to know the tunes. I felt I had to belt out the part I was doing because there was such a small handful of us somebody had to otherwise we would all sink together. This sometimes fell to me. I did it so I knew where I was going and could keep on track. If I faltered I would lose the harmony too. Other people followed me and that boosted my confidence as did getting positive feedback from the group. Maybe I was better at this than I thought. As I say I’m quite a quick learner and have a good musical memory. As a child I only had to listen to song on the radio once or twice before the tune would play around in my head all week.
After the small group, I went to another small group and then my sister and I progressed to a community choir where were was a much larger group and longer more complex songs to learn. There would be many people in each different part, whether soprano alto or bass and it was easier to stick to the particular harmonies. There is confidence in numbers so if you had lots of people around you, you wouldn’t be pulled to another part.
I no longer go to community choir. I went for many years but because of health issues I don’t anymore. But then lockdown came and my sister and I joined an online singing group on Zoom. It meant I could indulge my love of singing and harmonies again. Sometimes we can get a three-way harmony going if the choir leader or guest singer does one part and my sister and I are doing two other parts. It’s the next best thing to singing in person. I can hold a part on my own if I know a song very well but sometimes it's more challenging; sometimes I need to get to know the part inside out and if I miss the beginning for coming in, I have to start again. This doesn’t happen much in the online singing, but if I’m trying to do one at Christmas I have to begin again if I miss the part where I come in. I try and learn at least one new harmony every year to a Christmas carol because I love Christmas carols. I love the harmonies and this is where online recordings come into their own.
Anyway I just wondered how other autistic or people with ADHD find this. I know some of you will excel at this, especially if it’s special interest or if you like me it’s just taking you longer to get there to do harmonies even though music and songs and melodies for me have always been massively important in my life. I’d love to hear your feedback.
