I would like to visit this subject again. Time management and awareness.
For me, the autistic tendency to get to a place or appointment on time or even early is predominant. I always joked (because it was true) that I arrived for a train so early I was in time for the one before! As a student, I always got on with essays and assignments to get them out of the way - so I could be free of any deadlines hanging over me. Yet I remember only too well some of my fellow students, burning candles at both ends to get their essays done. I now see this as much more typical of ADHD. The same for always being late for anything.
Anxiety is common to both autism and ADHD impacting on time management and awareness in different ways. The autistic anxiety is one of needing to stick rigidIy to the routine, to help keep the world predictable and ordered. The fear of running out of time and getting into a paralysing panic has always spurred me to do things early. If I get somewhere early I give myself time to calm myself, and to deal with any other discomforts associated with the many other inevitable conditions associated with autism and/or ageing. But if a table has been booked, for a family meal say, I need to get there early so I can settle myself and get a chair I’m comfortable with etc and calm down as much as I can in such a situation.
People who are predominantly ADHD may be late in getting going or leaving the house for an appointment or meeting etc because of lack of executive function skills. The mind may be in a state of chaos, mirroring our living arrangements, as we try to remember all the things we might need for an outing or an appointment. I experience this a lot more as I get older. Obviously it will vary according to the situation and people involved - if a person is laid back and doesn't mind if I'm late then I am less anxious.
Some people who are predominantly or exclusively ADHD talk about time blindness. If there's not a deadline looming it doesn't feel urgent or even real. I personally haven't experienced this very often except when I'm totally relaxed and absorbed in one of my special interests - mainly creative writing. Then I can totally forget the time!
But anxiety prevents me from forgetting. When very anxious, my mind races and can spin out of control. This mind-racing means I vastly overestimate the time it takes to get somewhere. In his situation, I experience time as passing much quicker than it is, demonstrating how being very anxious or very relaxed can warp time.
Hope some of this resonates 😊
As always, do leave any comments below.
I find my ADHD has prevailed for most of my life. For decades, when turning up late, I'd joke "I was three weeks early when I was born and I've been making up for it ever since." This comment masked my deep discomfort at being late and unprepared. Back then I didn't know I had ADHD or autism. But now that I do, I try to arrive early and ground myself. It doesn't often work, but I know not to beat myself up over it.
ReplyDeleteWow Ann, I thought your comment was from my sister Ann, because it's always been a standing joke in our family that we're three weeks early for everything (sometimes that was just a way I'd saying excessively early!) Mind you, she was born about 3 weeks late so I realised then it wasn't her 😊 a
DeleteI do find humour is an excellent way of defusing my anxiety and sounds as if you do too. Thanks for commenting.
Ha, ha, no, Kate, this comment is from me, Ann, your sister. Since so many people have been diagnosed now with both autism and ADHD, I have found that this has helped my anxiety enormously, though not all the time, but just in little ways. Knowing that others are going through the same anguish with autism and ADHD, has given me a tiny bit of confidence in the idea that we are not so alone or peculiar in our angst states...
ReplyDeleteSolidarity in numbers eh Ann? 😃 It certainly does help to know we are not alone!
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