Sunday 16 June 2024

Authism - holidays stress & anxiety in autistics

Recently, my sister and I were trying to book a short break away for a few days as we try to do most years. If you're able to get one, do they stress you? I know we’re lucky to go away on holiday but we always benefit from a break and nowadays it’s only very local. But the whole organisation of them and finding the right place is hugely stressful. I have other long term conditions, so one of my must-haves is a heated towel rail, preferably working separately from thecentral heating system! 


But there are other barriers eg they all have late check-ins, usually from 4 pm and it’s all around the cleaning companies rather than the guests. Not only that but some of them want you to check out at an unearthly hour which is difficult if you have fatigue conditions. I know they have certain scehdules and some will be a bit flexible, if you're lucky, but they don't factor in people with long-term disabilities or chronic conditions. I have M.E. which is an energy-limiting condition and so need to sleep late afternoons ergo I don't want to be faffing about on arrival somewhere.

We had booked one which had free cancellation but turned out it had external metal steps to the flat so we couldn’t be doing with that. Another one we had to cancel because the toilet was on a different floor to the bedrooms. If you're on the people-pleasing part of the spectrum you will hate having to cancel. But needs must.

Then we booked another through a well-known holiday accommodation company who I ended up having a row with simply because they have no real provision for disabled people or those with energy-limiting conditions. It’s just exhausting battlinv with companies who don't seem to get it. With B & Bs you can at least drop your luggage off early and then go off somewhere until your room is ready and although you usually have to vacate rooms at 10 am on the day of departure you can leave your luggage in reception and pick it up later when you're ready to leave so you're not having to dash off early. I guess most people have their own transport but we don't.

Having said that there are downsides to B & Bs now which I’m sure many fellow autistics will relate to eg going down for breakfast with a lot of other people whereas with self-catering you can come and go as you please. Premier Inns were a good alternative for a while but they’ve changed a lot since the pandemic and our last recent experience in one was bad. The self-catering we’ve now booked was also pay on the day and no cancellation, so we had to take out insurance which we would normally do anyway but then going through all our conditions took two hours this time and the person speaking was pretty clueless about the effects of those conditions eg getting exhausted and agitated.

It seems to be getting more problematic every year so now we just go for a shorter break. Last year we went for a couple of long weekends as I thought it would be less stressful. But at one of the places we stayed they didn't leave enough toilet roll and it escalated into "loo roll gate" very quickly simply because they estimated what loo roll is reasonable to provide (not enough!) They shouldn't scrimp on things like this, it just looks mean.


You might ask why bother when the costs start to stack up but  I usually have some good times even if I only go out for short times and it's a bonus if the weather is good, I can take some nice photos and go to a few nice cafes. But as I spend more time inside the accommodation it's important that it's warm, well-equipped (with workable heated towel rail!) and preferably with a good view. We are paying for it after all. 


Do share your own experiences in the comments below.




2 comments:

  1. A great informative blog. never forgot the man in the west bay b and b who resented giving us toilet roll, and also that awful Exeter Premier Inn which reeked of the damp so no wonder you were freezing. Also remember the woman in St Andrews who kept moving us off our table like we didn't matter but other guests were more important...

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